Nothing too serious or academic. Read quite a bit of Hellblazer comics. As a result, have the Keanu Reeves “Constantine” DVD in my back-pack. Not quite able to commit two hours to it, but we’ll see about Sunday night. Also, really rather enjoyed Marvel’s “Ultimate Iron Man” collection. The art is alright, the story is great. Then, I realized that the story was written by Orson Scott Card, and it all made sense.
As for the dumb-media category, have been tremendously enjoying Tim Roth in “Lie To Me.” I reckon we, in the social sciences, are a bit more understanding when producers take our science and dramatize it. Maybe that’s why the “Lie To Me” message boards are so much more mellow compared to the “Numb3rs” message boards. Still, have always loved Tim Roth, and he is fantastic in this role. It took me about two episodes before I could stop thinking of him as Mr. Orange, and start thinking of him as Dr. Lightman. That’s to his credit as an actor, I think. Somebody suggested that I should also check out “House,” since the general idea of a dickish but brilliant English person solving crime appeals to me as a fantastic premise for TV drama.
Sorry, I really have been very busy. Too busy to post. Too busy to write in complete sentences. More to come later, I promise, but for now, here is a bit of something wonderful – Neil Gaiman on the Colbert Report.
Check about 1:00 into the video… Perhaps it would be a bit more convincing if the guy yelling “This isn’t the Soviet Union” didn’t look so much like Lenin!
Oh my gosh is right. I just noticed that there are no Statham pictures on the front page! Well, here you go -
That’s better, don’t you agree? I love this picture, because it has so many cognitive and conceptual layers to it. What’s Statham going to do? Is he going to punch somebody in the head, or is he going to lift up that bus behind him and throw it at some bad guys? You just don’t know! That’s the magic of it.
And now, I will summarize the state of the publishing industry -
“Right. We are only interested if you can come up with a trilogy about teenage vampires and werewolves in love. Because, you know, nobody’s ever done that before. And, oh, the target audience is goth high school girls, older women on the subway, people in New Jersey, and morons. You got that? Ok.”
By the way, this game embodies the Russian mentality better than any film or book or song ever can, precisely because of the following line: “This game has no winner – only a loser, or a losing team if played with partnerships.” Aint that the truth.
So, I’ve been trying to be a proper PhD student, which means that I’ve been staying away from fiction, and all books in general that will not somehow end up in my Lit Review. But this is winter break, so I am allowing myself a bit of non-school-related reading. It’s an entirely covert operation, which means that if you spot me at the Hungarian Pastry Shop, I’ll be hiding the latest Bill Willingham TPB inside my Bear and Connors neuroscience text.
First on the list, Jim Butcher’s “Dresden Files” series. It’s trashy fantasy, completely pointless, so naturally, I got a huge kick out of it. I read the first two books, and will probably pick up the others as soon as I can get away with it. Dresden is a wizard detective in Chicago, solving supernatural crimes (vampires, werewolves, etc) with tacky magic. One of the tag lines is “Buffy the Vampire Slayer meets Phillip Marlowe.” How can you say no to that? Keep a couple of these handy for those sad times when Hulu runs out of new “Legend of the Seeker” episodes.
Next up, we have Howard Zinn. I had to fight a hipster sociology student at the Butler stacks to get my hands on Zinn’s “You Can’t Be Neutral on a Moving Train.” I won, because I was able to distract him by looking over his shoulder and yelling, “Oh my gosh, is that Chris Richards from Ris Paul Ric?!” Of course he looked, and I made my getaway (hipsters aren’t very speedy, so that part was easy). The book was worth the trouble. It’s a delightful memoir, combining humor with potent messages about politics, society, and education. I’ll read a cereal box if Zinn had a hand in it, so obviously my opinion is biased. This book is kind of equivalent with Frank McCourt’s “Teacher Man,” only with a more political/civil rights slant. Zinn’s voice is clear and powerful, and the book is a quick read, which, I am sure, will leave a strong impression. However, it should come with a disclaimer. Warning: reading this book might make you vote for a third party candidate in the next election, who may or may not be Ralph Nader.
After that, I picked up Edith Hamilton’s “Mythology,” which has long been one of my favorite books. It’s a thorough review of Roman and Greek myths, but doesn’t give much attention to Norse tales. Which is why it pairs so nicely with Crossley-Holland’s “The Norse Myths.” Both books are great to keep around as a pleasant alternative for when your friends start making fun of you for reading “The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul” for the fiftieth time.
Finally, “The Linguistics Wars” by Randy Allen Harris, which is a light-hearted history of modern linguistics for the layman. While pretty much everything in the book was quite familiar to me on a more academic level, I still enjoyed the fast read. It is a fairly humorous, albeit, quite biased survey of the theoretical dispute between Chomsky and his successors. Personally, I feel that Chomsky doesn’t get fair play in this book, which could benefit from a slightly more thorough explanation of generative grammar and Chomsky’s initial reasoning behind the theory. Pick it up, but only as an introduction to the syntax and semantics conflict, and be sure to follow up with more academic texts, including some by Chomsky himself (namely, “Syntactic Structures,” or “Language and Mind.”)
- You know what would make this show even better?
- Hmm?
- If Zed the Wizard was played by Marilyn Manson.
- Wow.
- What?
- After all these years, I feel like I should know exactly what you are thinking, but then you go on and say something like that!
- Just trying to keep it fresh baby!
- Wow. You just did it again. Care to try for number three?
- Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.
- Damn it.
Am I doing a Twelve Days of Statham sort of thing here? No, I am not. You wish that I were, but I am not. Still, there are a few that are left in my between-semester-Statham-bucket. War was one of them. It stars Statham and Jet Li, and begins, like all good things, at a shipyard. That’s immediately an excellent sign, because, as we all know, the best fights always happen in shipyards. But it keeps getting better.
The story centers on John Crawford (Statham), an FBI agent whose partner is killed by a Japanese assassin called Rogue (Jet Li). Three years after that, Rogue resurfaces in San Francisco, and the smackdown begins. Throw in some classic Triad versus Yakuza plotlines, and you got yourself a highly enjoyable action flick.
I won’t reveal much more of the plot, because this one is worth seeing, so you should check it out. My only criticism was that there were too many guns. Typically, that wouldn’t be a problem. But when I pick up a movie starring The Wushu broadsword champion, I expect a bit more in your face martial arts and a bit less snipering from rooftops. Besides that, the action was satisfactory, and the plot was above average for this type of movie. The lack of shirtless grease fighting was disappointing, but not a deal-breaker in the least.
I know that I’m probably the last girl in Hipsterville to see this one, but I’ve been busy. The Transporter Trilogy won’t watch itself, you know.So, I finally got around to watching Napoleon Dynamite. Besides the cult status, I was also interested in this movie because of it’s notoriety as the Destroyer of Algorithms. And, after watching the whole movie, I have to say – what gives? I don’t get it.This movie sucked.It was stupid.And, not at all funny.What is the point?Is this about the 70s? Or the Midwest?Is Idaho even a real place? Was high school like this for anyone? I doubt it.Or rather, I hope that it wasn’t! As far as I am concerned, this movie had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I am stupider for having watched it, actually.I am filing this one in the “wasted two hours of my life” category, and hope to never have to think about it again.
In the Name of the King is a fantasy film based on a crappy Microsoft video game, called Dungeon Siege. It stars Statham (yea!), Ron Perlman (aka Hellboy), Claire Forlani, Leelee Sobieski, Burt Reynolds, John Rhys-Davies (aka Gimli, aka Sallah, aka the Professor from Sliders), Matthew Lillard (aka Shaggy), and Ray Liotta, who just happened to stumble onto the set in search of some cocaine. The movie was directed by Uwe Boll, who has done other films under his alternate alias, I.C. Weiner.
I know what you are thinking – Statham, Microsoft, two hotties, and an assortment of B-list stars, recipe for cinematic success! But, no, no. No. Not at all. This movie was awful. Not “Army of Darkness” awful, either. The bad kind of awful. So, Uwe Boll, whoever he is, was pretty clever to omit his real name from the production credits on this one.
Let’s see about the plot. Statham is a farmer. His name is Farmer. He has rules. Rule number 1. The deal is the deal. Rule number 2. No names. Wait, no.
Farmer lives in a village in the Kingdom of Ehb, in what seems to be Medieval England. The King has a magician, which would imply that they are some sort of Pagans, although they keep saying “God save the King,” and “God help us,” and so on, which is a strange sort of thing to say if you are a Pagan in Medieval England, but never mind. So, there is Statham, with his British accent, and Ron Perlman with his Washington Heights accent, and Ray Liotta with his Jersey accent, and Burt Reynolds with his Midwestern accent, and they are all there, hanging out in the Kingdom of Ehb. The cornucopia of different accents was really unnerving, but I digress.
Farmer’s village is invaded by Krugs, which are Orc type creatures, who burn down the village, kill his son, and kidnap his wife (Claire Forlani). Statham is pissed, and kills a Krug with rope. Statham rejects the King’s (Burt Reynolds) offer to join his army, and sets off to rescue his wife with the help of Ron Perlman and another guy. Stuff happens. They run into skanky forest harlots, who might be elves. In the meantime, we find out that Ray Liotta is an evil wizard who controls the Krugs. He is working with Shaggy (who is the King’s nephew) to overthrow the King and cease the crown. John Rhys-Davies is the King’s magus (Leelee Sobieski is the King’s magus’ hot magus daughter, her purpose in the plot is unclear) and eventually tells the king that Statham is his long lost son. Stuff happens. Sub par fighting. The King is dead. Long live Statham, the new King of Ehb! Some more stuff. Ron Perlman dies, sad. Statham fights Ray Liotta, kills him, saves his wife, lives happily ever after. The end. The long-long-long-awaited end.
Now, this movie could have been made slightly better. First of all, it is not at all improbable that a farmer in Medieval England would take his shirt off once in a while. But, no, Statham has all his clothes on for the entire duration of the movie. Statham does not kill nearly enough. Furthermore, he only uses two non-traditional weapons – a boomerang and a rope. There were so many other things he could have used to kill, but alas, all the other killing is done with a sword. Finally, there is no grease fighting. Again, it’s not a huge stretch that a bucket of grease would spill, and Statham would be forced to roll around in it. But, that doesn’t happen either.
So, in conclusion, this movie sucked big time. Don’t watch it. Not even Statham could justify the two hours of pure idiocy.
I am very excited about the Brain and Behavior class that I am taking next semester with Dr. Peter Gordon. I already picked up the required books, one of which is, by the way, “The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat,” by Oliver Sacks.
Professor Gordon’s research on the Pirahã tribe’s use of the “one-two-many” system of counting (Numerical Cognition Without Words, 2004) is what initially got me interested in linguistics. I never even heard of Sapir-Whorf before I read all his stuff, and it was his research that gave me the idea to study the linguistic determinism of computer languages.
Slightly less excited about the Multivariate Analysis class that I will also be taking next semester to complete my Stats track. I’ve always been good with numbers, but several semesters in a social science PhD program has me convinced that I must fear stats, because everyone else does too. That’s just the way of things, you know. I guess I just have to think back to my Engineering days. Anything is a piece of cake compaired to Data Structures, right?
Besides those two, I have a Pro Seminar and a Research Practicum. Standard fare, and a happy place to interact with other students in my program and hear about their ideas.
All I want for Christmas is Manny Ramirez playing for the Mets. That’s it. Nothing fancy. And after all I’ve done for you, well, let’s just say, that’s the least you could do for me. Seriously. I’m still here. I still have my Kazmir jersey. That one hurt. But, don’t worry, don’t worry. No hard feelings. Zambrano? Forgotten! Forgotten, I promise, I won’t ever bring that up. Just bring Manny over, and we can chant Manny-Manny-Manny, we can do that together, you and I, and I’ll buy you a hot dog, with mustard. It’ll be great. So, that’s it. Just remember, you owe me. You owe me big time.
I used to think that people who wear sunglasses on the train and indoors are obnoxious jerks. But now I realize that they are probably very groovy people who just had laser eye surgery, and are really sensitive to bright lights. Hmm. Perspective. Thou art a harsh mistress, indeed.
Today’s “Hulu for the Holidays Movie” is … … … Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels! Yes, they speak with strange, mostly incomprehensible accents, and there is hardly any action (or, rather, the action is British, so it’s a sort of tongue-in-cheek action, really), and there is a disappointing lack of shirtless grease fighting. But still – Statham! Enjoy.
- I don’t know, Doctor… sounds kind of risky.
- What?! No! No. No, no, no. Not at all risky.
- Hmm. You will be shooting a laser into my eye.
- And? So what? Perfectly safe!
- Hmm.
- I did this exact same surgery for Bernie Williams!
- This is supposed to convince me?
- Of course!
- You’ve seen him in center field, haven’t you?
- Eh…
- Well?
- I didn’t say anything about correcting depth perception problems.
That’s right. I went there. What are you going to do? Revoke my New York License? Ban me from Pelham Parkway? Whatever. I am a Mets fan anyway.
This is the last KVN video, for a while. I promise. Besides, this one does not require any translation. Here is the premise – it is a recap of a German porno film, only all the suggestive sexy scenes are replaced with an interpretive dance.
The only, and I repeat, ONLY, good thing about somebody leaving CCIT forever is that it gives you an excuse to start drinking at 3 o’clock in the afternoon. And the buzz, while effective in promoting the denial and delusion associated with the parting, is really hardly worth it. I’ll miss you, Nate. Watch out for the pirates.
